As I watched my daughter scream and writhe in pain, I choked back a sob and hid my tears. “We’re almost done Annabelle,” the nurse said, as she twisted her tiny wrist towards her, trying to squeeze more blood from her finger. Annabelle cries grew louder and louder as my feelings of helplessness doubled. My heart broke for my little girl. I whispered softly, “I’m so sorry my sweet girl. I’m so so sorry,” knowing fully well I could not do anything but hold her in my arms, stroking her hair, until the test was over.
I don’t think there is anything worse than seeing your child in pain – especially when it is unpreventable. The last few times we have had to take Annabelle to the doctors have been torturous for both Mommy/Daddy and daughter. A flu test is not a walk in the park, nor is the dreaded CBC finger prick, especially when your toddler already has aches and a high fever. I would do anything to trade places with her and to take her pain away. I hate needles but would take 1 million in my eye if it meant that she didn’t have to suffer just one.
My promise has always been to protect my daughter – to do whatever is in my power to make sure that she is safe from harm. Sadly, when it comes to something like her health, there is only so much I can do. I can’t prevent illness or the testing doctors need to do to find out what is wrong. I can’t withhold medication that will make her feel better. I can only BE there for her – to hold her hand, kiss her head, and rub her back until she is okay. And despite the ache in my heart as I watch her in pain, the power of my promise – to make sure she never feels alone – is stronger than anything.
I promise I will always listen when she calls on me. I promise I will hold her when she reaches for me. I promise to scare the monsters away and to always hold her hand. I promise to love her to the moon and back.
Sometimes when you think you aren’t doing enough, when you worry they’ll blame you for whatever awful thing has happened, the tiny voice of a two year old will remind you that you are doing enough. After our horrible trip to the doctors office, we laid in bed together watching her favorite show. As she lay in the crook of my arm, I heard her whisper, “Thank you Mommy. Thank you for rubbing my back. You’re a good good friend and I love you so so much.” I knew then and there that she felt the strength of my love for her and that my promises would never be broken.
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They’re made to provide 5 Star skin care with hypoallergenic materials, a wetness indicator, unique absorb away liner, breathability inside and out, and extra absorb channels. Pampers Premium Care Diapers are available at Walmart and Walmart.com.
As long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be. I promise to never leave your side.
This is a sponsored collaboration with Pampers and Acorn Influence. All opinions are my own.
Caitlin Houston is a Connecticut based life and style blogger.