Today I’m sharing advice for new parents about marriage and how to keep your marriage strong based on my personal experiences.
When my husband and I became parents, our relationship changed forever. I never considered how children could change a marriage, but it happens almost overnight. Communication and patience are the first characteristics of a healthy marriage to be affected once a newborn enters the family. Here is how my weaknesses have taught me to be a better spouse in Marriage Advice for New Parents.
Make Time to Communicate
One of the first pieces of advice I have for new parents is to MAKE TIME TO COMMUNICATE. Ever since our daughters started paying attention to what we say, Brandon and I began to spell out words to avoid little ears hearing big things. Annabelle is learning to decipher most spelled words, so I’ve been texting my husband when I need to talk to him.
Texting is a terrible way to communicate with your spouse. Not only have my words been misinterpreted, but a text is void of emotion. There is nothing better than spoken word when it comes to communication in marriage.
When is an appropriate time to communicate?
I’m going to discuss one of the worst times to communicate first, which is during a date night. I can’t count how many times a night out with my husband has turned into a serious conversation or ended in an argument. Date nights should be about reconnecting and having fun, not for discussing life insurance and bills. In the last six years of parenthood, my husband and I are just learning the best time to talk is post-bedtime.
Patience is a MUST in Marriage
The first few months as parents, my husband and I found ourselves arguing more than ever. Years later, we still lose our patience with each other after an exhausting day. It’s so much easier to unload on a spouse than on a child, but it’s unhealthy and detrimental to a marriage.
There will be many times in both marriage and parenthood that require patience. We all need the ability to see beyond a difficult moment and think before we speak. I’m still learning how to blow off steam in the opposite direction of my family.
Find ways to recharge your patience level
Every year I learn a little bit more about myself. I have always been a short tempered person, but with age I have learned my triggers. Exhaustion, stress, and a messy house send me into a state void of patience for anyone and anything. The best way for me to recharge my patience level is to take a timeout to drive around alone or dance out my emotions.
My Best Advice for New Parents to To Take it Slow, Remember to Breathe, and Speak Kindly
I’m not perfect. I allow my frustrations to get the best of me and forget to take it slow. The ability to breathe before I react and remembering to speak kindly befalls me. However, I am trying every day to be a better spouse and Mom.
The very best gift parents can give their children are the tools for dealing with big emotions. Little people learn through example and if their Mom and Dad are explosive, non-communicative people, they might just grow up to be the same way.